F16 vs. C-130

F16 vs. C-130

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier. The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?

The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!' The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'

The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, went to the latrine, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'

When you are young & foolish - speed & flash may seem a good thing !!!

When you get older & smarter - comfort & dull is not such a bad thing !!!

Us older folks understand this one.

This Is Really How The Internet Began

http://home.comcast.net/~singingman7777/Beginning.htm

Consistency

A man goes to consult Dr. Dr. Mike Wilson about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?"


"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies Dr. Wilson.

"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!"

"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred."

"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."

"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"

"Who has that kind of money?"

"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me a hundred and get out of my office, okay?"

"I can give you fifty," says the man. "Take it or leave it."

"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in San Diego if you have no money?"

"Listen, Doctor," says the patient, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive!"

Road Crew Signs

While driving through Indiana, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews.

To keep the workers safe, the highway department posted a series of signs that read, "Let 'em work. Let 'em live."

On one of the signs an exasperated motorist had added, "Let 'em finish!"

Surround yourself with intelligent people

Surround yourself with intelligent people


Barack Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "How do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Obama frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" he asks.
"Oh, that's easy," says the Queen. "You just ask them to answer a simple riddle."
Just then Gordon Brown walks into the room.
"Gordon, your mother and father have a child," says the Queen. "It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Brown answers, "Oh. That would be ... me, your majesty?"
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Upon his return to Washington, D.C., Obama asks Joe Biden the same question. "Joe. Your mother and your father have a kid. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He goes to his advisers and asks every one, but no one can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Robert Gates' shoes in the next stall. Biden asks Gates, "Robert! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Gates responds, "That's easy. It's me!"
Biden smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Robert Gates."
Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Gordon Brown!"

E-Mail Warning

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu ignore it.

It's just Spam.

Prayer before meals

A Sunday School teacher was trying to explain about saying grace before meals. One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, "Jerry, what does your father say when the family sits down to dinner?"


"Dad says, 'Go easy on the butter, kids, its three dollars a pound!'"