Spend time studying info that Glenn Beck has found about Obama and the Middle East and the Muslin Brotherhood.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Lemon Picker
This woman applied for a picker job in a Florida lemon grove. She seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers, and I voted for Obama."
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
One Smart Redneck - Chuckle for the day!
One Smart Redneck - Chuckle for the day!
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Alabama recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove off the Alabama river well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, sir' , replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?'
'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'
'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'
'O. K..' , said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the game warden says, 'Well?'
'Well, what?', says the redneck.
The game warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'
'Call who back?'
'The FISH', replied the warden!
'What fish?', replied the redneck.
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees!
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Respect for the dead
A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near Highway 7 early one cold December morning. Suddenly, a huge buck walked out over the corn they had spread in the low shrubs. The buck was magnificent, a once in a lifetime animal. His rack was huge. The hunter's hand shook as his mind was already counting the Boone and Crockett points.
Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Leopold scope on his .300 Win Mag at the unsuspecting buck. As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a lifetime, his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly down Highway 7. The hunter pulled away from the gunstock, set the rifle down, took off his hat, bowed his head and then closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was stunned, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen you do. You actually let that trophy deer go to pay respects to a passing funeral procession. You are indeed the kindest man I have ever known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend."
The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 37 years."
Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Leopold scope on his .300 Win Mag at the unsuspecting buck. As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a lifetime, his friend alerted him to a funeral procession passing slowly down Highway 7. The hunter pulled away from the gunstock, set the rifle down, took off his hat, bowed his head and then closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was stunned, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen you do. You actually let that trophy deer go to pay respects to a passing funeral procession. You are indeed the kindest man I have ever known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend."
The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 37 years."
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
A Blonde in Church
A Blonde in Church
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. That is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'
No one moved.
The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.'
Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, 'Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.'
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the Congregation roared.
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. That is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'
No one moved.
The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression.'
Again all was quiet.
Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, 'Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets.'
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the Congregation roared.
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